This Weeks Blog Post:

Leader, Mentor and Coach

Most leaders can identify mentors who have influenced and supported them throughout their careers. Each of us likely has a list of several people we respect—individuals we can call when we need advice, perspective, or an alternative point of view.

Good mentors listen more than they speak. They help us explore what we really want or need at a particular point in our lives or careers. They don't necessarily tell us what to do; instead, they help us think more deeply about the decisions in front of us.

Most leaders can also identify individuals who had a significant impact on their leadership development—not necessarily because they were mentors, but because they demonstrated how not to lead.

There is value in both experiences.

Good leaders remain open to gaining knowledge and developing skills in all circumstances, not just in situations where they have succeeded or felt comfortable. Difficult experiences, poor leadership, conflict, and even failure can become opportunities to develop something more valuable: wisdom.

Merriam-Webster defines wisdom as the “ability to discern inner qualities and relationships; good sense; accumulated philosophical or scientific learning.”

That definition resonates with me because leadership wisdom is often developed through experience. Knowledge tells us what something is. Experience teaches us what it feels like. Wisdom helps us understand what to do with what we have learned.

Marcus Aurelius captured an important aspect of wisdom in Meditations when he described the importance of viewing people from a higher vantage point—a kind of “bird’s-eye view.” He suggested that to understand people, we should consider the whole landscape of their lives: their relationships, work, celebrations, struggles, successes, losses, and the many contrasting experiences that shape them (Aurelius, 2006, Meditations, 7.48).

That idea has significant implications for leadership.

Leaders are often put in positions where they must make judgments about people and their character. Wisdom helps us resist the temptation to make those judgments based solely on a single event, behavior, or interaction.

Instead, we can take the “bird’s-eye view.”

We can consider the whole person—their experiences, their successes, their failures, their relationships, and the refining fire they have experienced throughout their lives and careers.

Understanding the full picture of an individual does not mean excusing poor behavior or justifying harmful decisions. Context does not eliminate accountability.

Rather, context allows us to understand.

It helps us recognize not only what someone has experienced, but also what they have done with those experiences.

From my experience, some people gain wisdom from adversity, while others become victims of it. Some grow stronger under pressure; others become hardened. Some flourish and grow in the composted soil of difficult experiences, while others eventually rot in the same nutrient-rich environment.

The difference isn't always the experience itself. Often, it is how the person processes and learns from the experience.

This is where coaching can become particularly valuable.

A coach is not a replacement for a mentor. The two serve different purposes, but they can complement one another in powerful ways.

Mentoring and coaching are both approaches to personal and professional development, but they serve different purposes. Rolfe (2016) describes mentoring as a relationship in which the mentor provides guidance, perspective, and support, while coaching focuses more directly on helping an individual develop skills, improve performance, and work toward specific goals.

Both have an important place in leadership development.

Mentors can help us see possibilities through the lens of their experience. Coaches can help us examine our own lens.

And sometimes, that is what leaders need most.

Leadership can be isolating. The higher we rise in an organization, the fewer people there are with whom we can openly process difficult decisions, uncertainty, relationships, and the weight that comes with leadership.

A coach provides a confidential space to step back from the immediate demands of leadership, take the bird’s-eye view, and examine not only what is happening around us, but what is happening within us.

The goal isn't simply to become a better leader.

It is to become a wiser one.

And wisdom, perhaps more than knowledge or experience alone, is what allows leaders to navigate the complexity of people, organizations, and the decisions that ultimately define their leadership.

Leader. Mentor. Coach.

Each plays a different role.

And for leaders committed to continued growth, all three can make a profound difference.

References

Aurelius, M. (2006). Meditations (G. Hays, Trans.). Modern Library. (Original work published ca. 180 C.E.)

Rolfe, A. (2016). Do I need a mentor or a coach? Korean Journal of Medical Education, 28(4), 397–399. https://doi.org/10.3946/kjme.2016.45

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